Love & Fire

"Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great." ~ Roger de Bussy-Rabutin

I'm sorry I have been absent from writing lately. I have been in a pickle with life in general, facing imperfections… it has nothing to do with the hotshot life and nothing to do with our relationship. But, as I have dealt with this obstacle we have faced I have been pondering on and praying about the imperfections in our lives and why things don’t always go OUR way.  

Here is our story (as some of you all already know):

Chris and I started dating “officially” (after he begged) in July 2008. Sometime in February 2010 he made his first move to Raleigh. Long story short…he has lived in and traveled to more places, more days than I could ever count. It has hurt. From the moments of wondering why we can’t just live like everyone else, to wondering why we chose this, to wondering if he is even alive after not talking to him for a while. This weird relationship that we have has hurt my heart. It has forced me into living in a way that I don’t want to live (my current circumstance has also). I may have been (and still may be) out of my comfort zone but is has strengthened me as an individual while also strengthening our relationship with each other and God. Mine and my husband's relationship has been tried and tested more so than most people’s relationships ever will be. We have succeeded and came out on the other side of these trials so many times. Although we have been successful this far please understand that we haven't yet won the battle but one thing is for certain we are in this fight together for life. I feel like we have a better understanding of the love that we have for one another simply because our circumstances have forced us to develop that understanding.

After struggling a bit lately I have come to the conclusion through studying and prayer that imperfections are beautiful.  And that imperfections may not even be imperfections at all because they are all part of God's perfect plan for your life and for mine. I am beginning to realize how being head over heals in love with a man who is gone more than he is home has prepared me for the other many hurdles that we are bound to face in life. For that I am thankful. Things not always being the way we think they should be can actually turn out to be a great gift. Our unanswered prayers are all a part of God's plan. I feel incredibly blessed that God has given me this understanding of love and the understanding that these things we call imperfections are blessings in disguise. I am so thankful that my love for my husband has grown stronger and our trust in God has grown even stronger.  I am so HAPPY to know that  God has control over our lives. The good, the bad and the ugly. He has it all. 

 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

James 1:17